Disjointed Digression

BERLIN (Reuters) – Thieves have stolen scantily clad garden gnomes from a gnome peepshow in an eastern German amusement park, park manager Frank Ullrich said on Thursday.
“The gnomes display naked body parts — the same ones you’d expect to see in a human peep show,” Ullrich said of his missing stars.
The adults-only attraction at Dwarf-Park Trusetal, where visitors peep through keyholes to see the saucy German miniatures in compromising poses, was smashed open early on Thursday morning.
Ullrich said he feared the gnomes would not be traced.
“I doubt they’re standing in someone’s garden, they’ll have to have been hidden inside.”

I don’t know what is more creepy, a garden gnome peep show, or that someone just can’t get enough of the peep show so they steal the “saucy German miniatures”! I know that stealing garden gnomes is a popular past time, I don’t understand it, myself. But it has become so popular that TV commercials included it, and the popular computer game Sims 2 includes rampant garden gnome thievery! I’m serious, in Sims 2, if you have a garden gnome, it will be stolen. But I digress.
Back to the news article… I keep coming up with one question, WHY? Why is there a garden gnome peep show to begin with? Honestly the more I think about it, the more it creeps my shit right out! Why steal in flagrante garden gnomes? I have this horrible image that keeps trying to sneak into my mind, but my rational brain is thankfully twarting the attempt, of some guy positioning the gnomes where he can see them and then enjoying himself. (ARHG! I didn’t want that image! But misery loves company, so I had to share!)
My only guess at this point is that whoever stole these garden gnomes just can’t get enough of midget porn either.
There are some Strange people in this world. God, I thought I was weird!

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 21st, 2004 at 3:31 am and is filed under Weird shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.