You know I joke about putting the dog into the microwave to let her lick up any mess I make, not to cook her! 
I have never acted on it of course. Unlinke this guy who proposed taping a piece of bacon to his cat…
Bacon on a cat!
[Listening to: Cat Scratch Fever - Pantera - Detroit Rock City Soundtrack (3:47)]
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Poor bobby dog, she is soooo abused.