Badger Badger Badger Badger…..Snake?
Posted by Monkeymanx in Current? events, Weird shitFrom the What the Fuck?! department.
Apparently British forces are being blamed for bringing giant, man eating badgers to Iraq. At least according to this article. Which has a pic and a link to a youtube video. I haven’t watched the video yet. 
Some of the interesting parts of the article:
British forces operating around the southern Iraqi city of Basra are being blamed for the arrival of a plague of vicious badgers that stalk the streets at night, attacking livestock and even humans.
Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel rumours of a bear-like monster that eats humans and was, according to the local rumour mill, released into the area by UK forces to spread panic.
“They are native to the region but rare in Iraq. They’re nocturnal carnivores with a fearsome reputation, but they don’t stalk humans and carry them back to their lair,” Major Gell said.
So far neither the scientists nor the soldiers have been able to calm the populace’s fears.
“I was sleeping at night when this strange animal hit me on my head. I have not seen such an animal before. My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer,” said Suad Hassan, a 30-year-old housewife. “It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly.”
Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old farmer from Abu Sakhar north of Basra, believes the badger can tackle even large prey. “I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,” he said.
Major Gell said: “We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river.”
What the Hell? I can possibly see someone describing a badger as “the size of a dog with a head of a monkey” if they have never seen one. I can even believe that a badger would attack animals, but a cow?! Unless it was a small cow, I just can’t imagine a badger tearing across a field and taking down a cow. Well, I couldn’t imagine it until now. 
Of course when I first read this, I thought that the badgers would be eight feet tall, and eating humans exclusively. That sounds like a really cheesy sci-fi movie “Attack of the Giant Badgers!” But I digress… Honestly I sort of figure that soon someone will come out and say that this is a hoax. What the hell did that British Major meant about releasing serpents into the river? If somewhere in the story it mentioned mushrooms, I’d say for sure it was a hoax that was tipping its hat to that flash animation badger, badger, mushroom, snake.
Entries (RSS)