Disjointed Digression

So, I netflixed Aliens vs. Predator Requiem, since I couldn’t convince myself to see it in the theater, and I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theater.

If you look up the definition of requiem, it says:
1: a mass for the dead
2 a: a solemn chant (as a dirge) for the repose of the dead b: something that resembles such a solemn chant
3 a: a musical setting of the mass for the dead b: a musical composition in honor of the dead

So it seems fitting that the title lets you know that the AvP series is dead. Really they probably should not have even made this movie. The movie is dark, and I don’t mean as in “dark and brooding” or somber. I mean it was hard to tell what the hell is going on, because you have a black alien fighting an invisible predator at night, in a sewer. Not that the whole movie is like that, but more often than not the fight scenes are dark and confusing. On top of that there is the incoherent “story”, which seems to be about people in a small Colorado town and how they have to defeat the alien menace.

Not even the hybrid predator/alien can make this worth seeing. There are no good views of this monster throughout the movie. You get glimpses and fragments of images, and that’s about it. What looks like happened is that the movie wanted to save on special effects costs and made cheap/cheesy monsters that they tried not so show too much on screen, lest the viewer see the zippers and wires.

There is one scene that made me giggle a little bit and that is when someone yells “Get to the chopper!” Quite the parody of the original Predator. The only other scene that is kinda neat was tossed in at the end to add to they “mythos”.  It has someone named Yutani receiving Predator technology. I guess this is how Weyland-Yutani (the company from the Alien series) gets started.

I really don’t think that those two scenes make this movie worth watching. If you want to see hot predator on alien action, watch (or re-watch) AVP, don’t watch AVPR.

So, last weekend Moon opened in Austin.  Beav and I went to see the first showing on Saturday.  Moon is basically a one man show with Sam Rockwell turning in a stellar performance as Sam Bell.  Sam Bell is a man on a three year contract to oversee a small moon base that farms helium-3 a clean energy source that is shipped back to earth.  The only companion Sam has is GERTY, a computer that takes care of him (voiced by Kevin Spacey.) Sam has two weeks left in his contract then he will get to go home to his wife and young daughter.  When Sam goes out to retrieve a full H-3 container he has an accident, and things get interesting after that.

Moon is one of the best movies I have seen in a while.  It made me think, and wonder about things after I left.  It’s not a summer blow stuff up blockbuster, that is for sure.  I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll just say that you should try to find it showing close to you and go check it out.

We went to see Watchmen on Saturday.  It has been a few years since I have read the graphic novel (I never did get the twelve separate issues) but from what I remember the movie follows the graphic novel very closely.  The ending is different from the graphic novel.

I do think that it was slightly dated, since it was set in an alternate 1985 (Nixon was never impeached and is still president, America won the Vietnam war and made Vietnam the fifty first state).  When the comics were originally written (1986-1987) this would have had more of an impact, I feel, than it does today, especially with a lot of the movie goers being born the same year the comic was written.  (Whereas I was thirteen when the comics came out.)  The movie has an R rating for a reason, there is quite a bit of Dr. Manhattan walking around nude (glowing blue wang on display) a sex scene that would be at home late Saturday night on Cinemax, and plenty of violence.  I’m sure there was foul language, but I don’t think it was overly used.  As for the Dr. Manhattan nudity, I think that it somewhat fits well in the story since Dr. Manhattan is losing his humanity (part of which is modesty.)

If you read the graphic novel, or the comics, do no expect to see the Black Freighter mentioned in the movie.  As well as it was woven into the fabric of the comics, I think that putting it into the movie would have added way too much to the running time of the film, which is at 2 hours and 43 minutes.  On another note, the soundtrack fits in quite well, and is outstanding!

All in all, I think the movie is quite good, I’d recommend seeing it at full price. 

Once again I bought into the hype about a movie.  Beav, Kim and her kids, Candy and I went and saw Cloverfield on Sunday.   I was expecting the 90s Godzilla meets Blair Witch. I was not disappointed, but neither was I surprised.  Some people said that they got motion sick watching the movie, I didn’t have that problem, but I could see how some people might. 

There may be some spoilers ahead: you have been warned.

 The movie goes from boring to hectic/quasi-exciting.  But it was about 75% boring.  Apparently Rob is going to Japan for his job, and his friends are having a going away party for him. The camera is given to a friend of his and he documents the night (and almost the whole “ordeal” of the film). 

The party footage is boring, and about as fun to watch as your aunt Esther’s trip to the Grand Canyon home video.  I realize that the film makers wanted this to feel “real” but I go to the movies to escape reality, not to watch home movies.

I felt no emotion connection with any of the characters in the movie, nor with the monster(s) for that matter.   Anyway, this party footage goes on for 15-20 minutes, and then things start to happen.  An earthquake/tremor, a huge explosion, and the Statue of Liberty’s head flying across New York.  All of which is never explained.  Then there are glimpses of the monster as it knocks down buildings, and sends dust and debris raining down.  We get to see a shot that looks like an homage to the dust cloud shot we all saw on September 11, 2001.   All the while everyone is confused as to what is going on, including the audience. 

I could go on with the plot, but I won’t in case some of you plan on seeing the movie. 

Now to the reason I went to see the movie… the monster!  I know why they decided to have the monster(s) be a big secret.  They suck ass.  They looked like rejects from “The Mist“.  There is one Godzilla sized monster that drops a lot of smaller monsters.  The smaller monsters are about the size of a German Sheppard I’d say.  The smaller monsters made me laugh with the goofy noises they made while trying to attack people.  Both the larger and smaller monsters appeared to have been based on insects.  If they were gonna do that, they should have just re-made “Them“.  Anyway, the monsters are not worth the price of admission, in my opinion.  Remember that horrible Godzilla remake in the 90s?  Godzilla in that (and all the little Godzukis) are cooler than the monsters in Cloverfield.  Actually that Godzilla movie is a better movie than Cloverfield.

To sum up, 75% of the movie is boring “home movie” footage, even when they are on the run/trying to escape/save everyone/whatever it’s still pretty boring.  The “scary” parts are really predictable, and the Monsters were not very good.  Probably the thing I liked best about the movie is that it was short, just at one hour and thirty minutes.

A lot of reviewers are saying it’s an “experience”, an experience in boredom. Don’t buy into the hype:  avoid Cloverfield.

This weekend, Candy and I went to see Transformers. Of course we went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see it. The Alamo Drafthouse is such a good theater that it got mentioned on Heroes! When you go to the Drafthouse, you really need to get to the theater early, not just to get good seats either. Instead of showing some boring ads for Coke, or dumbass trivia type of “game” the Drafthouse shows things that are somewhat relevant to the movie you are going to see. Also you need to look over the menu and put in your order. But I digress…

When we got to the theater, they were showing clips from the Transformers cartoon. Also they showed clips form the animated Transformers movie. Some of the other things they showed were Japanese transformers clips, and for some reason parts from Turkish Star Wars. What was cool was that the clip they showed from the animated movie was the fight between Optimus Prime and Megatron.

About the movie itself:
Transformers was one of those movies that I was not sure Hollywood would be able to pull off. The nostalgia surrounding the cartoon and toys would draw a lot of people in, but if the treatment of said nostalgia was too hokey it could have been a disaster. I have to say that I liked the toys and cartoon as a kid, but I’m not a hardcore Transformer enthusiast (i.e. I can’t name but a handful of the characters.) I had heard that the movie was good, but I had my reservations as it was being marketed as a Summer Blockbuster. Summer Blockbuster usually means that before you leave the house you need to take your disbelief, tie it up, and shove it in a closet, suspending it just won’t cut it. Keeping that in mind as well as realizing that this film was directed by the same person who directed Armageddon, I went to see the movie. I was nicely surprised. It was a good, fun movie. For me the special effects were the star. Candy said that what made the movie was Shia LaBeouf’s performance. I think it was a combination of his performance, the special effects and the humor. There was a lot more humor than I was expecting. The storyline that was put forth was not too bad, although it did kinda have an Independence Day feel to it on some parts. For the most part the acting was good. Some of the action sequences made me want to have a rewind/pause button so I could tell exactly what was going on they were so fast. I really liked the movie. And contrary to my belief Candy did too. It’s not that often that we leave a movie and she admits she wants to live it. After we left the movie she said “I want a transformer! A real one!” Honestly I think that’s the best review I could give… her reaction.

A few months back I read Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. I decided to give it a shot because I saw a few minutes of Manhunter on TV. If you are not familiar with the movie history of Hannibal Lec(k)tor, it goes something like this Manhunter, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, Hannibal Rising. Candy and I decided to watch Manhunter and Red Dragon this past weekend and compare the two.

Manhunter was made in 1986, and it was based on the novel Red Dragon. In this film, William Petersen plays the protagonist of Will Graham. Graham is a retired FBI profiler who was known for making impossible mental leaps to catch serial killers. On of the more famous ones he caught was Hannibal Lecktor (that was how it was spelled in this movie, in all the subsequent movies it is spelled Lector). So Graham is brought out of retirement to catch one more serial killer, since the FBI has no way of figuring out how he chooses his victims. That is the basic plot and premise of the novel and the 2002 film Red Dragon.

Manhunter was made in the middle of the 1980’s a time when men wore hot pink, neon was the light of choice and studio musicians filled up soundtracks. Manhunter has all of that, horrid fashion, cheesy music, weird sets that don’t really make sense and really bad music. The only song that is not bad is In-a-gadda-da-vida, the rest of the music is crap, and seems WAY out of place. If you pulled the music from the movie (except In-a-gadda-da-vida, it actually serves a purpose) the movie would be tons better. The acting is not bad, for the cast of B listers. I liked Peterson (now more well know for being on CSI) as Graham, I thought Brian Cox did some scenes as Lecktor better than Anthony Hopkins did then as Lector in Red Dragon. And Tom Noonan was a very creepy Dollarhyde (aka the bad guy). The problem is that the movie drags out and is not well paced. At the end, it deviates from the book, and has a Hollywood ending, that feels like it was just put on there to put the movie goer out of their misery and let them go home. The movie deviates from the book in several places, yet in others it stays true to form.

Red Dragon, made in 2002 does a much better job of sticking to the book. Sure there are some deviations, but not nearly as many as Manhunter. This updated version has more subtle music that doesn’t jump out at you and say “Hey! You remember that crappy music you danced to at the Junior High “prom”, you know the stuff you tried to slow dance with Jane Whatshername, while you not so slyly ran you and over the back of her dress seeing if you could feel a bra, and if so where the clasp was in the very slim chance you might get to try to unclasp it later. That’s me, I’m that music!” Also the caliber of actor’s has gone up. Anthony Hopkins returns to play Hannibal Lector, even though this movie is set before Silence of the Lambs. Edward Norton plays Graham this time around. Even though I generally like Edward Norton, I found Peterson as a more believable Graham. Ralph Fiennes is a less creepy but more psychotic Dollarhyde.  And Harvey Kietel replaces Dennis Farina as Crawford, the FBI man who draws Graham back in.

One thing that deviates from the novel is the beginning of the movie, where the audience is shown how Graham catches Lector. The rest of the movie follows the book very well. The acting, is good, if a little stiff in a few places. Unlike Manhunter, Red Dragon is very well paced, and an all-round better movie. There were some parts of the story (in both movies) that do not seem plausible (e.g. Candy pointed out that getting a finger print from a human eye was very unlikely. Since she used to work in a crime lab, I defer to her.)

I’d recommend Red Dragon over Manhunter if you want to see a good movie based on Thomas Harris’ book. But if you are looking for something that will remind you of the glory days of Miami Vice, check out Manhunter.

As you may recall I blogged about movies I was looking forward to.

Two of those movies (Spider-man 3 and Fantastic Four 2 more on FF2 at a later time) have yet to come out.

I have seen Smokin’ Aces and 300 though.

Smokin’ Aces. 

I saw this when it came out, and I’ve been too lazy or too busy (take your pick) to write a review on it.  I have seen a re-hashed  commercial for the Smokin’ Aces DVD recently where it reads part of a review “Blam! Blam! Expletive! FBI, plot twist, Expletive!Expletive! Blam! Blam! Blam! Expletive! Expletive!”  Which pretty much captures the basic premise of the movie.  Action, lots of guns and violence.  Some of the actors/actresses listed on the cast are almost just cameo appearances.  I actually thought Ben Affleck was not too bad in this movie.  It was an OK movie, but not great.  The way I describe it is “Tarantino light”.  Personally I think the movie had too many characters (all of whom were as flat as a pancake) and not enough story.  From the trailer, I thought that more would happen, and that there were more locations involved.  Since its out on DVD now, rent it for a few hours of mindless violence.

300

The movie is based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C.  Since I enjoyed the graphic novel, which is based in history but not 100% historically accurate, I figured I’d like the movie.  300 focuses on 300 Spartan warriors that defend the pass at Thermopylae against 10,000 invading Persians.   The movie was made using a lot of CGI backgrounds and computer enhanced colors/images so that it would look as much like the graphic novel as possible.  There are quite a few side by side comparisons on the Internet, and most show that the movie captured the look and feel of the graphic novel.  The movie is very much an action oriented macho fest.  Candy liked it “because of all the hawt guys!”  I liked the movie quite a bit for different reasons.  I saw it opening weekend, and was very tempted to go see it more times.  In the words of a SNL sketch “It was better than Cats, I’m going to see it again and again.”  If it’s still playing near you, go see it!  If not, buy the DVD, I know I will!   It is that good!

Grindhouse

 I went to see Grindhouse on opening day.  Grindhouse is more than just two movies back to back.  There are also fake trailers included, which are fun and funny.  I went into Grindhouse not expecting much.  I was rewarded with a very fun time.  The two movies “Planet Terror” directed by Robert Rodriguez, and “Death Proof” directed by Quentin Tarantino are very b-movie-esque, very cheesy and very different from one another.  

Planet Terror 

A movie about zombie-esque cannibals running amuck in Texas. It’s mostly a zombie movie with a couple of twisted love stories and some sibling rivalry to boot.  It has the classic Rodriguez over-the-top-way-beyond-believable-but-I-still-like-it-even-though-it’s-totally-impossible thing going.  I’m not going to give away anything, but its good messy fun!  There are some gross-out scenes.  Since Candy and I saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse, we were eating lunch and watching the movie. “Oh that’s gross!” <chomp> <chomp> “That’s disgusting” <chomp><chomp>.  It’s a fun movie, just don’t think to hard about it… Oh and IMO Rose McGowen looks hot in Planet Terror.

Death Proof

Tarantino, he loves his dialogue. The only problem is, as I understand it, in “original” Grindhouse cinema they dialogue was crap.  There is a lot of dialogue, some of which seems to be pretty pointless. There are also a lot of shots of downtown Austin (Guero’s, Texas Chili Parlor and the beloved Alamo Drafthouse Cinema!) Of course there is some good old fashioned stunt driving that as far as I know used very little to no CGI.  Even though I liked seeing stuff from my hometown in the first half of Death Proof, the movie doesn’t really get good until the second half. 

I recommend seeing Grindhouse at the theater, but make sure you have 3 hours to spare, it’s a long double feature.

Hot Fuzz

 On Sunday, we went and saw Hot Fuzz (thus the headline .) Ever since my buddy Beav got me to watch Spaced, I’ve loved damn near everything that has Simon Pegg and is written by Edgar Wright.  Hot Fuzz is no exception.  The story is that Nick Angel, police office extraordinaire is  too good.   He is so good that he puts the rest of the force to shame, so he gets reassigned from the    London Metro police force to a small village called Sanford.  In the beginning Angel is as strict as Judge Dread (although he is not judge, jury and executioner.) He has to re-adjust to the slow life of Sanford, where one of his major duties is rounding up a goose that has escaped.  When a rash of accidents happen that don’t look like accidents, he is the best man for the job. 

This is one of the best action movies I’ve seen in years.  They tell you what is going to happen in the beginning of the movie, just not how or why.  There are homage’s to some of the cheesiest cop-buddy movies out there.  It’s fun, its funny, and the action is a blast.  Even if you haven’t heard of it (or of the other movie these guys did Shaun of the Dead) go out and see it, you will not be disappointed.

Wanting to take a break from playing Warcraft, I popped in a DVD. A rented DVD. Hoodwinked! to be exact.
I rented it, because… well, um, I guess I the reason I rented it was because I think Patrick Warburton is a pretty good actor in odd roles (a la the live action Tick series). That and I giggled at a trailer where the squirrel says dynamite as D Na Me tay. Let me just say that I’m glad I rented it.
The movie is moderately ok. There are references to many other movies, some that the younger audience will probably not get. There is a big Fletch reference or three. XXX (The Vin Disel movie) has a few references too. A few other references are in there, I’m sure, but they escape me right now. And that’s not a big loss. This movie is mildly amusing. The best parts are in the trailer. Yeah, it’s one of those movies. The computer animation was great, in 1998. But compared to some other recent CGI/cartoon movies, it left much to be desired.
The story is contrived and obvious from the first few minutes. The voice acting was not bad. Pretty much a B-list (or lower) cast of actors provide the voices. Not that I dislike any of the actors, and they all seemed to be ok in the movie, but when the main characters are voiced by Anne Hathaway, Patrick Warburton, Jim Belushi, Andy Dick and Xzibit it’s downhill from there. I got the feeling that when this was made, it was either rushed, or had a small budget. The thing is that it tries to imitate a Pixar or disney movie and it comes across that way. It comes across as a cheesy imitation of something good.
If you simply have to see this movie, either watch the trailer, borrow it, or rent it from the dollar for 3 weeks bin.

Snakes on a Plane
Beav, Candy and I went to see Snakes on a Plane. We went to the Alamo Drafthouse, the best theater “chain” ever! Unfortunately we went too late to buy some of the Samuel Jackson BadAss Ale (they were sold out ) But I digress…
The Movie itself:
With a title as cheesy as “Snakes on a Plane” I knew I had to see this movie. I had no expectations for this movie at all. One of the best things about this movie is that it never takes itself too seriously. The movie is pretty much the title. There is a few minutes of setup at the beginning of the film, but the majority of the movie is snakes on a plane. Under seats, coming out of the overhead, in the cargo hold… you get the idea. The movie is a B movie script with an A movie production quality. Sure you can tell that some of the snakes are CGI, but that’s part of it’s cheesy charm.Being the freak that I am, I laughed almost every time a snake bit someone. Also I giggled ever time they used the “snake vision” shots in the film. This movie is fun and goofy, I recommend seeing it, but you might want to go to a matinee.

Little Miss Sunshine
On this past Sunday, Candy and I went to see Little Miss Sunshine. Again we went to the Alamo, our favorite one (the closest one). Candy didn’t think that I would want to go see this movie, but I had heard some pretty good things about it. Again, I didn’t have any expectations going into this movie. I really enjoyed it! It’s a bit tough to describe, the closest thing I could come up with was that it’s somewhat like Vacation crossed with Napoleon Dynamite. A quirky dysfunctional family has to make an approximately 1000 mile trip in two days so the daughter can enter into a beauty contest. Along they way they have various problems and issues that they have to deal with. This is a pretty funny and ultimately cute movie. I’d recommend seeing it, even at full price.

I have been missing, absent, elsewhere, a no-show for far too long on my blog. For the very few who longed for my return, I hope that longing has been sated. Why I have been away, I really cannot say. It’s not like I’ve been overly busy. I’ve been working, sleeping and still playing too much World of Warcraft. I offer no excuse, as an excuse would just be a lie wrapped around an unwanted truth.

In my time away from you, dear reader I have done many things. A few of those things are suitable for public consumption.
I have seen a few movies, and will give quick reviews about them, since most of them are already passé.

Nacho Libre
Being a fan of Jack Black, and enjoying Director Jared Hess’ breakout nerdy comedy with no jokes Napoleon Dynamite, I decided I wanted to see Nacho Libre. The only thing I knew about Mexican masked wrestling was that it was (maybe still is) HUGE in Mexico. Going into this film, I had no preconceived notions about any aspect of it. I think that made a minor contribution to the fact that I really enjoyed the movie. I have seen a few reviews of the film and there is on thing in particular that I had to agree with. On a Geekdrome podcast it was mentioned that Jack Black detracts from the film when he breaks character. When he is not Nacho, but basically Jack Black doing his “thing” (a la the seen where his is singing and goes into his impersonation of a musical horn). As Jack Black that’s part of his shtick but it’s out of character for Nacho. But I digress…
Overall, I really had a fun time with this movie, definitely one that I’ll pick up on DVD. If you haven’t seen it, and enjoy quirky comedies, check it out.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Ahh, sequels… I really enjoyed the first Pirates. It was fun, and goofy in parts had good action sequences. As long as you didn’t take it too seriously, or think about it too much it’s a fun film. Therefore I wanted to see the sequel. As is the case for most sequels, the sequel tries to outdo the original. For Pirates that meant a grander scale, everything seemed bigger, more over the top. That includes the length of the film, at two and half hours it was too long in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong there are parts that are fun goofy and good action sequences. But there are also parts that drag on too long, or that seem to not have any real reason for being in the movie. Everyone is back for the sequel. Some might consider this a spoiler, but the much talked about Keith Richards appearance never happens. To be honest I was a little depressed about that one. Also it’s painfully obvious at the end that there has to be a Pirates 3. The special effects are top notch, and would be good to see on the big screen, but I’d go to a matinee. Or possibly wait for DVD. I just can’t wholeheartedly recommend paying $10 to see this movie.

Clerks II
As most of you know I’m a big fan of Kevin Smith. When he announced Clerks II “The Passion of the Clerks” I was pretty excited. Then for a few years while the film was being made, I didn’t think about it. As the release got closer and closer, I became wary. A big budget sequel to an indie hit? I decided I would see it, but that I would avoid hearing/reading/seeing anything about it before hand. I had done the opposite with Star Wars Episode One and look how that turned out! I had mentioned this to Candy and at one point when a trailer was on TV she shouted at me and kept my attention on her so I wouldn’t see/hear about the movie. Love is a wonderful thing!
About the movie itself: I feel that it kept to its roots. It was funny and goofy, and at times made you think. It lambastes popular culture, including, but not restricted to The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Wars, and the upcoming Transformers movie. Also I felt that in parts the movie made fun of itself and didn’t take itself too seriously. My wariness was for naught. I highly recommend seeing Clerks II.

That’s all for now (I’m sure for some of you it’s too much ) I’m going to try to write regularly again.