Disjointed Digression

So I hadn’t blogged in a while. I took the holidays off. I had a good Christmas and New Years. For Christmas, I got myself a fun, odd little playstation 2 game called Guitar Hero.
Candy got me some good books, a few DVDs I’ve been wanting and another PS2 game called God of War.
Candy has been wanting one of those Magic Bullet blender thingies that you see on late night infomercials. They were on sale at christmas, so she finally got one.
Today during our running around, we found out that Bestbuy had the Motorola black Razr phone on sell for 79.99. But for Cingular. Candy has Cingular, and added a line for me, so that I could get a cool black Razr!

So that is pretty much the highlights of our holiday hauls.

Hope everyone had a good holiday season.

This past weekend (or was it the weekend before? they all run together) Candy and I put up my Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It’s about 3 feet tall, covered with colored lights, angel ornaments, mischievous kitten ornaments, Warner Brothers cartoon ornaments and comic book character ornaments. At it’s peak, it barely holds up an bright star that looks like it might fall at any moment. I think it’s a pretty good little tree. It’s the first Christmas tree I’ve put up in six years.

I had a very cool IM chat with Candy this morning… almost out of nowhere the conversation turned to…

candy: we need to have more sex
Me: more?
Me: ok
candy: since we aren’t married we should be having more sex
Me: I need to blog that
candy: blog about what?
candy: me wanting more sex
Me: yeah
candy: lol
candy: ok

I thought it was soo cool I had to blog about it !
I’m such a nerd! I have the best girlfriend in the world!!!

This past weekend I went to Wizard World in Dallas. It’s a fairly big comic book convention. The big name stars that were at the convention were Sean Astin famous for Lord of the Rings, Ron Perlman most recently famous for Hellboy, and Summer Glau of Firefly and Serenity. I got to see Ron Perlman and Summer Glau, but I didn’t feel like paying to get their autographs. As for Sean Astin, To get to see him you had to wait in a separate line and you might get a ticket to see him. Honestly, I didn’t want to see him anyway. There is a large “showroom” where everything a fanboy would want would be on sale. I, of course wound up spending too much money buying things that I have actually wanted for a while. For example I picked up an American McGee’s Alice Cheshire Cat statue. I also bought a Maxx statue.

That was on Saturday. On Sunday, Candy took me to the Race for the Cure where we walked the course and got tired for a good cause. Then Candy took me to the Settlement Home for Children Annual charity Garage Sale. Which was payback for me taking her to the comic book convention. So in the two days of the weekend, we walked more than we have in a long time.

I’ve been getting mail, not email mind you but actual physical letters and stuff from Marlboro. Yes the cigarette company. I don’t smoke. Ok, I do when I’m on fire and sometimes when I’m drunk. But I’m not what you’d call a smoker, not even a casual or social smoker. Not that I have anything against it, if someone wants to blacken their lungs let ‘em. But I digress… For a few years now Marlboro has been sending me coupons and little gifts for my birthday. The first time I got something form them, I just tossed thinking it was for someone else or a mass mailer. I think I did this until I got a little box from Marlboro. I thought this was a very brazen marketing campaign if they were sending cigarettes to random people, but it turns out the box had Beef Jerky in it and a birthday card. I was creeped out! Even though I know my birthday is public record, why was Marlboro sending me gifts? What creeped me out more was after I moved, I kept getting stuff, at my new address. These fuckers were following me! Shit, I had to tell the Department of Public Service I had moved to I could get a new license, but Phillip Morris knew I had moved and adjusted already. WTF!? It’s creepy. I received something in the mail from them yesterday, and it puzzled Candy. So I had to tell her the same story I just typed out. Well, I went to the rather bland PhillipMorris.com and sent the customer service (at least I hope it gets to customer service or whoever it needs to get to so that I will stop getting shit from them) and email. Of course I have only received one of those automated confirmation “we got your email” emails. So we’ll see what happens.

Update:
Well, it looks like I’ve run into the bureaucracy I expected. I received the following letter a few days ago, and I have yet to follow up on it.

Thank you for contacting Philip Morris USA.

Philip Morris USA

So now it is up to me to call them? I guess I will sometime soon. That or I could just let them keep wasting money on me, not that it would affect them in anyway. When I get around to calling, I’ll let ya know what happens.

A quick update:
My Family made it to my great aunt’s house in Jonestown Texas (and they won’t drink the kool-aid ). The trip took them about 12 hours. The authorities rerouted them directly north instead of allowing them to come the most direct route here. But they eventually made their way across to the Austin area. Jonestown is just north of Austin.
The good news is that they are safe.

Over the Labor day “holiday” Candy and I drove to my parents place in Wildwood, aka Village Mills. It’s about a five hour drive, or for you non-Texans about 300 or so miles. For some reason Texans gauge all distances in time, not miles… go figure. The trip there was pretty uneventful, Candy was driving and I was telling her how to take all the back roads to get to my parents place. If you know Texas at all, you know that people go to great lengths to avoid driving through Houston. Personally I’ve been through Houston at 3 am on a Sunday and got stuck in a traffic jam that lasted 2 hours. Thus the back roads. We took the dog with us since the dog sitter we used in the past had moved to Odessa. The dog was pretty good in the car. When we got there I took a nap, I had worked the night before, and Candy and Mom talked and got Dad to start burning some papers for us. We had a large box full of papers that we wanted to shred but were daunted by the task. Since my parents live in the sticks we asked them if we could burn them in their backyard. We got the go ahead and did just that over the course of the weekend. Basically we took it easy and didn’t do much. We played some games and Candy got initiated to our Pit cult. I’m pretty sure we play Pit with house rules, but we just play for fun and so we can yell. Basically there are cards that have various grains on them (wheat, barley, oats, etc.) and you try to trade ones you don’t want for ones you do and get all of the same type. At least that’s how we play. The yelling comes in when the bell rings and you want to trade some of your cards, you yell out how many you want to trade find someone else at the table yelling the same number and trade. Needless to say it’s a loud game. We have fun with it though. Of course the more we talked about it, especially my Brother in law, the more leery Candy became of it. After she played it, she said “we have to get this!” We had a cookout one day and just had a good time visiting with the family.
Then came the trip back. We had taken Candy’s car, because we felt it got better gas mileage than mine. For some odd reason, when we started the trip back I asked if she wanted to just go through Houston. It is a more direct route, but the traffic usually sucks. She said no. A few more times on the trip I mentioned it, and we both agreed it was not a good idea. Just outside of Conroe we hit a large block of wood in the road deflating the passenger side front tire and bending the rim. With the help of a nice passing motorist we got the donut spare on and directions to the Hyundai dealer. We figured the dealer would have the rim in stock. We got to the dealer at about 10:30 in the morning. The estimate we got was that it would take about 45 minutes. The allowed us to bring Zaida into the waiting room, for which we were grateful. The dog was amazingly well behaved in there, normally she barks and growls at people she doesn’t know, but she only barked once or twice. We figured she thought she was at the vet’s office. At about 11:30 Candy’s getting a bit agitated and asks what’s up with the car. The guy who was “helping” us has gone to lunch, so the cashier gets another gentleman to help us “the mechanics are working on the recall now he tells us.” “Recall? we brought it in for a tire/rim” Candy says to the man. “Well it’s a safety recall has to be done.” And kinda brushes us off, he had two or three other people he was dealing with. Candy is now more upset because they didn’t let her know they were working on her car for something she didn’t bring it in for, even if it was a recall thing that was free. About 12:15 the guy we originally talked to came in and told us that they had finished the recall work and that they had to go get a tire it would be about 30 minutes to get it. He really didn’t answer Candy when she asked him why he didn’t come in and ask permission to do the recall work. He also told us that the cost would be $308 and change “after tax and everything.” Even though both of us thought that was high, we realized we were at an out of town dealership and were expecting to get screwed. 1:30 rolls around our guy walks through telling us that the car will be ready soon. On a side note, every time this guy talked to us Zaida would growl at him. At 1:45 Candy goes to the cashier and asks to talk to a manager. The manager comes out and she demands to know why we have been waiting three and one half hours for a rim and a tire to be put on, he explains that they shut down the shop for lunch so that is one hour there. She begins to tell him she doesn’t care and wants to know where her car is, she is so upset by now that she is crying from frustration. The manager tells her he will find out, and walks out, presumably to find the guy who is “helping” us. In walks this asshole who is “helping” us, he sits down and says “I apologize, I forgot to add in the tire to the price…” and he has his page of calculations, at the bottom is $728 (or something but its OVER $700!) Before he can finish Candy loses it “That’s BULL! I am not paying that!” The guy is flabbergasted, Candy is crying again and yelling at him, and I say “Yeah, you told us $308 was all we’d have to pay” He mumbles that he’ll see what he can do and wanders off. In comes the manager again “Did talk to you?” I say “Sort of” in a very sarcastic tone. I forget what Candy said but the manager said “‘OK, come into my office” Candy went in and left me to watch the dog. If we had both gone to the office and taken Zaida she would have gone nuts barking and growling. I didn’t hear all of what went on in the office, but I heard Candy screaming and crying and I know that the asshole went in to be part of the conversation. At 1:56 we paid $333 and change (the $308 + tax) and left. The rest of the trip home was thankfully uneventful. What I wanted to know is where in the HELL that guy came up with $400 for a tire? Shit, he didn’t take us out to dinner, or even offer us K-Y before he tried to fuck us!
So we got home at 6pm instead of 3pm. We still had shopping to do. One of the things we bought was a Peter fighting the big ass Chicken from Family Guy . Since I have a new-found interest in Family Guy . We made it home about 10 pm and crashed.

Other than the tire incident, we had a good labor day.

I think it’s official… I’m weird.
Dictionary.com defines weird as “Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.” I really think that applies.
A little background… A day or so ago I was flipping through channels and saw something about sloths (tree sloths three toed I think) on Animal Planet.
“I’m the human sloth!” I proclaimed “I have the loafing powers of ten men! I was bitten by a radioactive sloth as a young man.” For some reason I started thinking about sloths again today (maybe it was because I was lying in bed doing nothing, moving a few inches an hour…) and I began to wonder… Do sloths do EVERYTHING slow? You know what I’m talking about.. Hot sloth on sloth action!
I’m going out on a limb and saying sloths are slow fuckers.
To quote George Carlin “These are the types of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools”.

In my wanderings around the net, I have come across some t-shirts that make me laugh. As you may or may not know I have the Jesus is F’in Metal shirt

I found a few others that I want and/or make me laugh…

Then there are the offensive ones from Tshirt hell…

I could go on for a while… I think you get the idea, I’m weird and like weird t-shirts…

Todays Moral: You can’t be moral without getting oral.

For those of you that read my missive about the war protestors, you might remember what it said. For those that didn’t, sorry you won’t get to read it. I have decided to remove it from the site, because to be quite frank, I’m tired of hearing about it. If you want my opinion on the war here it is: We should have removed Sadam from power in ’91, but since we have troops there already, let’s wrap this up as soon as possible and bring the troops home so they can get ready to fight off the Russian-Chinese attack coming over the north pole.

Now on to other tidbits…
Candy and I watched Wonderfalls the complete season including the 11 un-aired episodes. Most likely you have not heard of this quirky comedy that is in the same (although not as foul mouthed) vein as Dead Like Me. It’s a great show, that in my opinion should not have been cancelled, I strongly recommend you watch it. But I digress… Near the end of the series Jewel Staite of Firefly fame makes an appearance for about 4 episodes. I saw her and said “Hey, it’s the girl from Firefly!” And then got a little bummed because she portrays the opposite type of character on Wonderfalls than she does on Firefly. Which means that on Wonderfalls she’s a Bitch (yes with a capital B). Before she showed up on the show I had convinced Candy to watch Firefly with me. She’s still going to watch it, but now she has a preconceived notion that one character is a Bitch. I’ve tried to dissuade her from that, having seen Firefly and knowing the true nature of the character. But Candy seems to be having none of that. Which is just her way of joking with me about it, since she (unlike some people out there) can tell the difference between and actor/actress and they roles they play. But I still think that she harbors some of those feelings deep down. I know I did. When I saw the actress on Wonderfalls, I was used to seeing her play a nice upbeat happy go lucky character then seeing her as a Bitch, it kinda upset me a bit. Of course it’s all emotions attached to non-real people in fictional settings, so ultimately it means nothing, but I think that most people do the same thing: see an actor/actress in a role and let that role determine how they feel about said actor/actress. Now I’m really digressing.

That tidbit lasted so long, I’m only going to throw one more in. I read on a few news sites that Garth Brooks now has an exclusive deal with Wal-Mart. Meaning he will only sell his music through them (apparently). All I can say about this is that He knows where his fans shop.

I am sitting here at work, finishing off the last ½ of my foot long Subway sandwich, eating my Pringles, drinking my 20 Oz Dr Pepper, and watching Mythbusters on my laptop. I suddenly realize that I owe all of this to the best girlfriend in the world! She found out that I was going to be working alone tonight so she brought me lunch! Because it’s better for me to stay here than it is for me to run and grab something and possibly miss a call. She also brought my laptop and digital camera so I could post that spider picture. It’s not like I’m slacking at work, it sometimes gets slow at night, so when I have a little down time, I do things like read or get caught up on TV shows. I’m digressing…
Basically I want to say that I have the best girlfriend in the world! I love you Candy!