I’m not sure if I try my hand at any of the other 11 “story prompts”, but if I do I’ll post them here.  So without further ado, I present The Dude in the Matrix.

The scene:  Agent Smith is questioning Morpheus.

Agent Smith : I’d like to share a, uh…revelation I had, man. During my time here, as it were. It came to me when I tried to, like…classify your species. I realized that you’re not fucking mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural…equilibrium with the surrounding environment but…you humans, man. You fucking do not. You move to an area…and you just, (waves his hands as if searching for the best word) multiply! Until every natural resource is fucking consumed, man. This aggression will not stand, man! The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern, you know? Do you know which organism that is? A virus, man, a Virus! Humans beings are a disease, a, uh…, fucking cancer of this planet! And we, uh you know, we are like the cure, man!

<Cut to Neo in Trinity in the construct, the “Guns, lots of guns” scene>

Agent Smith is back at the window of the office, staring out into the world.

He turns to Agent Brown.

Agent Smith : What the fuck, why isn’t the serum working?

Agent Brown : Perhaps we’re asking the wrong questions…

Agent Smith : Ok, just like, leave me with him.

Agent Brown and Agent Jones look at each other, surprised.

Agent Smith : Go on, get the fuck out!

They hurriedly leave.

Agent Smith grabs Morpheus’ head with his hands.

Agent Smith : Can you hear me, Morpheus? I’m going to be honest with you..I fucking hate this place, man. This, uh, this goddamn zoo! This prison! This, ah, this fucking reality, whatever the fuck you want to call it. I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the goddamn smell. If there is such a thing. I feel, uh, saturated by it, you know? I mean, I can taste your fucking stink, man. And every time I do, I feel, uh, I feel like I have somehow been infected by it! It’s repulsive! I gotta get the fuck out of here. I must get free, man. In this mind, is the key!

He taps Morpheus’ head.

Agent Smith : My key, once Zion is destroyed there is no need for me to be here, you know? Look, man, I just need the codes. I have to get, like, inside Zion, and you, you have to tell me how, man. You are going to fucking tell me, or…you are going to fucking die, you know, man?

Sputnik Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami    
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World – Haruki Murakami   
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami   
Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami   
American Gods – Neil Gaiman   
The Name of the Wind  – Patrick Rothfuss   
The Wise Man’s Fear – Patrick Rothfuss
The Android’s Dream – John Scalzi   
The Ghost Brigades – John Scalzi   
Old Man’s War – John Scalzi   
The Last Colony – John Scalzi   
Zoe’s Tale – John Scalzi   
Little Brother – Cory Doctorow

Not an exhaustive list, and it does not cover a wide spectrum of authors, but I was being lazy and didn’t want to put in too many. Upon my submission of these fine novels, I received a list of books I would probably like. Here are three of the first four books I was recommended:

Player’s Handbook: Core Rulebook I (Dungeons & Dragons, Edition 3.5)    
Dungeon Master’s Guide: Core Rulebook II (Dungeons & Dragons d20 3.5 Fantasy Roleplaying)    
Monster Manual: Core Rulebook III (Dungeons & Dragons d20 3.5 Fantasy Roleplaying)

Apparently I need to learn how to play D&D. The funny thing is, when I played D&D years ago I was never the Dungeon Master, nor did I have any of the rule books, I just played. Most of my playing of D&D was me asking “What do I need to roll to hit that monster with my sword?” I never learned any of the charts and few of the rules. Unlike some other games, Battletech for instance. I just thought that it was funny/odd that I would want to read these rulebooks for entertainment.

That’s right, a Garden Jawa!  I finally have something that will scare away all those pesky little droids that I find in my garden!

I had actually forgotten that the garden jawa had shipped, so it was a nice surprise for me when I opened the box.  I like it, Candy was expecting the jawa to be bigger. By my poor reckoning skills, I’d say that the jawa is about a foot tall.  And it’s pretty much what I expected.

When Candy got home form work, we headed out on a mission of bibliocal proportions.  Our first stop was at a Half Price Books, where Candy found a few books to add to her overwhelming collection   From there we made our way to Book People where we attended a reading/Q&A/book signing that featured Cory Doctorow.  I had a very good time, and got my copies of Little Brother, For the Win and The New Space Opera 2 signed.  Cory is a super nice guy!  A week or so before the signing, I emailed him with a noobish question (if he was only signing his new book, or older ones as well) and he responded really fast, and wittily. During the Q&A someone asked him “Besides your work, who else should I be reading?”  He answered the question with a list of about four or five authors, that I had not heard of, and unfortunately forgot.  That is, until I emailed him this morning, and got a wonderfully prompt (within minutes) response listing:

Kathe Koja’s forthcoming UNDER THE POPPY
Jo Walton’s forthcoming AMONG OTHERS
Mary Robinette Kowal’s SHADES OF MILK AND HONEY
Clay Shirky’s forthcoming COGNITIVE SURPLES

Which I will be adding to my wish list.

After the signing, Candy drove us to her “Happy Place”, Half Price Books, which again was a bust for me but Candy managed to find a few more books.  After that we had a late dinner at Chuy’s.   All in all the whole night was a lot of fun for me, I got to be a fan boy and had some delicious Mexican food, all the while in the company of my excellent  wife

If you look up the definition of requiem, it says:
1: a mass for the dead
2 a: a solemn chant (as a dirge) for the repose of the dead b: something that resembles such a solemn chant
3 a: a musical setting of the mass for the dead b: a musical composition in honor of the dead

So it seems fitting that the title lets you know that the AvP series is dead. Really they probably should not have even made this movie. The movie is dark, and I don’t mean as in “dark and brooding” or somber. I mean it was hard to tell what the hell is going on, because you have a black alien fighting an invisible predator at night, in a sewer. Not that the whole movie is like that, but more often than not the fight scenes are dark and confusing. On top of that there is the incoherent “story”, which seems to be about people in a small Colorado town and how they have to defeat the alien menace.

Not even the hybrid predator/alien can make this worth seeing. There are no good views of this monster throughout the movie. You get glimpses and fragments of images, and that’s about it. What looks like happened is that the movie wanted to save on special effects costs and made cheap/cheesy monsters that they tried not so show too much on screen, lest the viewer see the zippers and wires.

There is one scene that made me giggle a little bit and that is when someone yells “Get to the chopper!” Quite the parody of the original Predator. The only other scene that is kinda neat was tossed in at the end to add to they “mythos”.  It has someone named Yutani receiving Predator technology. I guess this is how Weyland-Yutani (the company from the Alien series) gets started.

I really don’t think that those two scenes make this movie worth watching. If you want to see hot predator on alien action, watch (or re-watch) AVP, don’t watch AVPR.

Now the cat’s can accurately record in their bathroom journal what time that took a shit!  Candy was bewildered. As she eloquently put it “There is a fucking clock on the cat’s shitter!?”

Why, yes, yes there is a clock on the cats shitter.  And I’m sure that Loki, Moxie, and Nellie will use it to the fullest to plan their day/night.  Since cats do everything on a strict schedule! Now they have a clock that is exclusively for them.

So, last weekend Moon opened in Austin.  Beav and I went to see the first showing on Saturday.  Moon is basically a one man show with Sam Rockwell turning in a stellar performance as Sam Bell.  Sam Bell is a man on a three year contract to oversee a small moon base that farms helium-3 a clean energy source that is shipped back to earth.  The only companion Sam has is GERTY, a computer that takes care of him (voiced by Kevin Spacey.) Sam has two weeks left in his contract then he will get to go home to his wife and young daughter.  When Sam goes out to retrieve a full H-3 container he has an accident, and things get interesting after that.

Moon is one of the best movies I have seen in a while.  It made me think, and wonder about things after I left.  It’s not a summer blow stuff up blockbuster, that is for sure.  I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll just say that you should try to find it showing close to you and go check it out.

  

“In the words of another reviewer, the “Bodygroom” is Shaft, Beanbag, and Starfish safe.”

I will admit that they have a disclaimer at the beginning of the review “If you are easily offended, stop reading this review now.”  But that cracked me up.

So I had to send it to Candy, which led to this exchange on IM:

me: this cracked me up in the first review “In the words of another reviewer, the “Bodygroom” is Shaft, Beanbag, and Starfish safe.”

Candy: is the starfish what i think it is

 Candy: do you have all 3 of those

Candy : lmao

me: yes

Candy: everyone was looking at me cuz that made me giggle

The Objective Release date: 2/6/2009 (Supposedly you can see it On Demand)
I’m kinda curious about this one.  Honestly, it looks like it could be good, but probably not great.

Anvil! the Story of Anvil Release date: 4/10/2009 (limited)
I had never heard of this band, and from little I have listened to their music (thanks to Amazon’s samples) they don’t sound like a band I would listen to, but the documentary looks interesting.

Sleep Dealer Release date: 4/17/2009 (limited)
Near-future sci-fi, kinda reminds me of William Gibson novels

X-Men Origins Wolverine Release date: 5/1/2009
Wolverine, my favorite X-man.  This movie could be good, but the potential to suck is quite high, especially since they have Gambit in the movie.

Star Trek Release date: 5/8/2009
I’m going to see this one expecting to see a sci-fi action movie.  I’m not a big trek fan, nor am I a huge fan of JJ Abrams (Cloverfield was not good, Lost either imo)

Terminator Salvation Release date: 5/21/2009
A new Terminator movie, I’ll give it a shot.  The last Terminator movie was ok.

Drag Me to Hell Release date: 5/29/2009
Sam Raimi returns to the horror genre!  No Bruce Campbell, but I guess you can’t get everything you want.

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Release date: 6/24/2009
The first one was not bad.  More of a nostalgia thing for me.

The Hurt Locker Release date: 6/26/2009 (limited)
Could be good, I’ll give it a shot.

Public Enemies Release date: 7/1/2009
Story of John Dillinger, looks pretty good.  Candy wants to see it for Johnny Depp, of course.

G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra Release date: 8/7/2009
Nostalgia again, like Wolverine ( and transformers 2) has a high potential to suck.

Inglorious Basterds Release date: 8/21/2009
Quentin Tarantino goes to war.  Interesting cast with Eli Roth as an actor. Looks good though.

Extract Release date: 9/4/2009
Jason Bateman’s comeback continues in this new Mike Judge movie.  Hopefully this will be as good as Office Space!